Finding Love After Loss

Not all loss is created equally.  If one were to lose a child, it is understood culturally that they will grieve that loss forever, maintaining their fierce love for that child always.  Why then, if a person is forced to say goodbye to their husband/wife/spouse/partner etc., society gives them a little time, and then starts to wonder collectively, “When are they going to ‘move on’?”

Whether you spent six months or six decades with your partner, the depth of a connection to another person cannot be measured in time.  Use your grief journey to rediscover who you are, without your loved one physically beside you.

Humans are social by nature, seeking acceptance, community, and love.  Therefore, it is only natural that following such a traumatic event, a person may prefer seclusion for awhile, but will have to find their way back to humanity eventually. 

In times of emotional upheaval, relationships shift.  Some friendships are solidified, and some may fade.  Family may turn toward each other for support, or away from each other over the estate.  It is natural in these times to reach out and meet new people who are following their grief journey, at support groups, and church gatherings, and so on.  It is only natural, then, that there is a possibility of another love connection.

This can cause an array of mixed emotions.  That somehow, this relationship signals the “true end” of our previous relationship, or that this relationship somehow feels like you are being unfaithful.  Understand that your feelings are normal, and share with your partner what you are going through.    

Take things slowly.  Realize that your former partner does have a place in your new relationship.  Be open with your new love.  By allowing your grief journey to continue (because it will) you are honoring the past and the present, enabling you to be wholly committed in your future.  

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